My Faith and Identity Collide

The garden story and the snake’s deception of humanity truly disturbed my own philosophical view point about my sexuality.   More like my faith and my identity were colliding at a high speed.

I went back to Genesis 1-3 again and again!  Prior to Genesis 3 it appeared that God, Humans and all creatures great and small lived in perfect harmony.  No pain, no discord, no strife, no selfishness; trust peace and contentment were a day to day reality.

When the serpent entered the picture he first instilled doubt

“Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied.“It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”

Then he enticed her with Knowledge and power to be like God.

“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.

With one bite everything changed!

It all began with a twist of the truth.  I began to evaluate what I had believed to be true about myself and sexuality in general.  Was it possible that I living under the illusion that my sexuality was as natural as my hair and eye color.

“Delusion is not seeing, recognizing, or acting in truth.”  Dr. Jimmy Ray Lee

The thought kept coming back me that God’s arch enemy (satan), intentionally messed with humanities identity and sexuality to hurt God.  It made since on many levels if humans are made in the image of God then to distort our identity separates us from all God intends us to be.  If God created sex a as the next closest thing to intimacy with Him; then to taint it with abuse, self indulgence, promiscuity, anything outside the healthy boundary of marriage separates us not only from God but from each other.

I began to intensely wrestle with these new thoughts. It struck me again and again the immediate results of Adam and Eve’s pursuit of becoming like God.

Genesis 3:7

Shame/innocence lost- 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

Hiding and Secrets –8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees. 9 Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

Fear to reveal what we have done and who we have become-10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the LORD God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”

Gods, response hit me in a very different way both in verse 9 and 11

Where are you?  He sought Adam and Eve out.

Who told you were naked? Not an explosive condemning response but an inquiry.

This deep soul searching caused me to ask myself the following questions:

What was I hiding from?

What was I afraid of if God was right and I was wrong about my sexuality?

Did God want all of me including my sexuality?

~ by hopespassage on March 30, 2012.

2 Responses to “My Faith and Identity Collide”

  1. You continually challenge me to search myself and reach for higher stanards for myself and my faith. Thanks a million

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