Masters of your fate? How is that working for you?


I want to preface this blog by saying I not a theologian, nor scientist.  I am sure this blog will provoke opions from those who say that being gay is nothing more than a choice; as well as from proponents who say we are born gay.  While I have agreed with the later for the majority of my life; my position is changing.  I am a woman who desires to know the truth and honor God with my entire being.  What follows is the outcome of many hours of study, prayer and meditation.

Prior to their choice to eat from the tree of knowledge; Adam and Eve lived in a perfect world, they related to each other in an open and healthy manner and they knew God face to face.  With one bit everything changed, shame, blame, seperation from God and strife in their relationship with each other.  This was a spiritual choice to willfuly disobey God and act according to their own desires and will.

Aside from physical death, perhaps the greatest impact their decision had was upon their ability to relate to God and one another.  Unhealthy relationships among humans prevail to this day   How people relate to God ranges from utter denial of His existance, to I am a god among many gods.  As a result we live in pursuit of meeting our own needs at any cost. I have concluded that our spiritual choices can impact not only our lives but the lives of others for generations to come.

In an instant humanity went from healthy relating and fulfillment to to being  the source of life “God”; to a state of constant neediness and trying to meet those needs on ourselves (in essence I can become like God).  Adam and Eve propelled us into a constant state of striving to be masters of our own lives.  I would say rather than mastering our own lives we humans have created a world  filled with death, destruction, discontent, discord and disease.

Humanity  has progressed in this relational brokenness with God and others.  We care far more about satisfing our own needs .  As a result we live with diseases such as HIV/AIDS, substance abuse and genetic disorders men and women were never meant to endure.  Our world is filled with people who suffer from depresssion,  bi-polar disease ADD and autism to name a few.  Yes I would say we have done a fine job of directing our own lives.  Surely none of this was Gods intention for our lives.

Just as the above is reality, I think it is possible then that our genetic makeup can be altered by sin in terms of our sexuality.  Yes I feel some of your blood pressures rising even as I typed that.

Let me qualify my last statement by saying that even if we are born with a propensity towards being gay this does not in anyway mean that God created us this way nor does he endorse a willful engagement in living out side the bounderies established in his word regarding sexuality.

What I have come to understand is that Gods orginal intent for humanity was for one man and one woman to  live in a covenate relationship with each other.  Now I feel those on the other side of the isle passioantely rising their objections.

Here’s the deal my friends I had to come to decision to either embrace the word of God as absolute truth or not at all.  If it is not absolute truth, then there is no standard to measure our lives by.  There are no real bounderies, because we either can pick and choose what we want to believe. More often than not interpeted by how it suits us in our current circumstances.

God never intended for humans to live in the state we find ourselves in today; we are sexually and relational broken.  Sex trafficing is on the rise around the world, children are having their first esual relationships at the age of twelve.  10 years ago 1 out of 4 girls were sexually abuse and 1 out of 6 boys.  Today one out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will be scared for live by sexual abuse.

Further  divorce rates and domestic violence continue to climb. One in three women view porn daily 70% of Men 18-24 view porn daily.  We are more likily to tweet and facebook each other than spend time with each other in person.  Think about this, when was the last time you texted a co-worker or family member who was either sitting in the next room or close proximity to you.  Is there any doubt that we are sexually and relationaly broken.

These facts have been a strong motivation for me to find healing for my own sexual and relation brokenness.  I believe in the healing power that Jesus demonstrated in the New Testment.  I don’t believe that healing is limited to physical healing alone.  I think we must unconditionaly come to a place where we are willing to surrender control of of our lives mentaly physically, and emotionally before God can begin the healling process.

Healing most often does not take place instantaneously or in a miracleous manner.  I know this from my own experience three years ago I could verily read and write due to a head injury I had as the result of a car accident.  God progressivly healed me through, a wise Dr. and has restored me to 85-90% capactiy mentally and Physically.

My point is more often than not we must partner with God for our healing this is just as true physically as it is on the inner healing level.  I am currently seeing a christian licensed theraphist to purse healing from the deep wounds of my childhood.  What I am discovering is I am identifying the root causes and key componets that contributed to my own sexual and relational brokenness.  Yes it is a process, but the truth is I am finding freedom.  As a result of identifying the key events and contributing components, I must then choose to surrender the control of my emotions and control of those wounds over to Jesus in order to find true healing and emotional health.Why because God much faster than expected.  He is restoring my soul and spirit to healthy relating in ways I never dreamed.

I know this has been a controvesial post.  I know there are folks who still believe being gay is an absolute choice and other who just as strongly believe we are born this way.  Others disagree with me that counseling is a necessary measure that we must be delievered from our gay demons and God makes us straight in an instant.

My response is I don’t have all the answers to the questions and debates surrounding sexuality.  In fact I am probably more neturel than taking a side on the issue.  Which ever side of the coin you fall on we may have to respectfuly agree to disagree.  This is a personal decision that every person who identifies themselves a follower of Jesus and is gay identified must come to terms with.

However, my own journey has brought me to a place of peace. I am no longer driven by a since of overwhelming neediness.  I am moving forward into the life Jesus promised me and every day it grows in abudance.

Thank you for  following my journey,your thoughts and comments are always welcomed.

Live well friends

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~ by hopespassage on May 25, 2012.

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