A Letter to Young Lesbians

Dear, Young Lesbian Couple,

I ran into you today several times at Target not intentionally but our paths just kept crossing.  With each encounter my heart filled with sadness almost to the point of tears.  I am writing to you as one who has walked your path you are embarking on for several decades.  I am a person who fought for freedom to be out and proud.  I know you hear messages every day that affirm you to embrace  your true self and love the one your with.   I promoted those messages for well over 20 years to people just like you.  Would you take the time to read some thoughts I had after seeing you today.

What struck me today was how your presence seemed to protrude a deep need for acceptance.   Your intense affection for each other appeared to say that the other was the only reason to live and breathe.  I had the opportunity to catch a brief glimpse in each of your eyes; I saw confusion, a lack of confidence and acceptance about your own bodies and gender.  This seemed to propel you to grasp and hold each other even tighter.

My young friends, I have been there and lived in that state the majority of my life.   Over the course of life, my partners were my “everything.”  They became my reason for existence and I lost who I was in them and for them.   I was willing to do whatever was necessary to gain their acceptance and approval.  This most often meant stifling my dreams and purpose and even desires.

As an older sister I can tell you this is no way to live.  What you think is only natural and love in the end becomes tangled cords that will strangle all you really are.  One of you will eventually dominate the other with your needs and desires and out of loyalty or more rightly fear you’ll remain in a dead-end relationship, going nowhere and  sucking the life out of you.

Even worse one or both of you will become so frustrated and have so many expectations left unmet by the other that you may begin to engage in hostile arguments.  God forbid those fights become violent.  I have seen two of my friends come to blows with the loves of their lives and then left for dead.  Their souls seared through and through.  I pray you never find yourself in this place.

So what is the point of this letter?  I wanted to challenge you to consider if this; is really the life you want to lead.  Ebbing and flowing out of pain and need.  Feeling fulfilled in the moment by “her” and then feeling a lonely desperation that there must be something more even as you lay next to “her”.

In the course of my life I have  had two long-term same sex relationships and well over 30 short-term encounters.  Ultimately I discovered none of them could fill the void deep within me.   I often sold a part of my soul for a brief moment of affirmation and “love”. However at 49 I discovered the “One” and only one who ever could fill my deepest needs and even desires.

No it wasn’t a woman or the woman.  Nor was it a man.  It was Jesus I engaged in relationship with Him and found Him to be the”One” who filled my hearts longings, healed my brokenness and wounds and gave me a true sense of who I really am.

I hope you will not take the path I took my young friends and waste a good portion of your life accumulating deeper wounds than the ones you so readily displayed today.  I hope you will not spend your life moving from one partner to the next hoping and wishing that she will meet your deepest needs; only to walk away more lonely and hurt than before.  I hope you will not expend your energies trying to find your self, fighting constantly to defend who you are.  Yet when left alone,  you wonder who you really are.

My young friends would you consider Jesus, not the Jesus you see hanging in your grandmother’s house or hear from some suit ranting and raving from a platform condemning and judging people to eternal damnation.  I am talking about the Jesus of the Bible, He was both God and man come to earth to rescue us from ourselves and restore us to a right relationship with Him and God the Father.

I am praying for you tonight as I finish this letter that you will discover the only “One” who can fulfill your life and put you in touch with your true-self.

I welcome you to join my journey,


~ by hopespassage on October 25, 2012.

16 Responses to “A Letter to Young Lesbians”

  1. Praise God for embracing us when we repent, respond to the Holy Spirit, and choose Him over all of life.

    • Mary Ann

      I was drawn to Gods offer for peace in my life it has been a slow process to recognize that I was not in right relationship with him. I am thankful that he has given us the gift the Holy Spirit who does lead us and guide us into all truth. God is good in patience with us to allow us to discover that ours lives are worthy of surrendering to Him. As you this is a process not a one time event.

  2. Not understanding how or why some things in life are so damaging, and why we hide behind them to make ourselves feel accepted. I hold you in great respect and prayer for your willingness to help others. Your letter is very moving. I hope and pray that it will reach those who need to see it. Thank you for sharing the Love of God!

    • Thank you Jeff

      I wish someone would have written such a letter to me when I was in my teens or as a young adult. I wish they would have unfolded the truth of who God is and how my life was not his best for me, VS being so morally right they couldn’t see the wounds they were inflicting upon me.

  3. Beautiful Hope just beautiful, wow that moved me to amazement, just great letter just great, thanks

  4. Hope. Thank you for sharing this beautiful grace-filled post. Your letter is filled with truth from your experience meeting Jesus and allowing Him to be your EVERYTHING.

    I bless you as you share this and God uses it to touch lives. Thank you for being honest and willing to use it to speak the truth from your experience.


  5. Beloved Hope, I am going to save this wonderful letter to share as a resource in the future. I can think of a few online places that would really benefit from your blog post as well! 🙂 Love you!

  6. Beautiful, Hope.

  7. Again, you embody your name as you offer hope. It’s night time in China and this is a good “last thing of the day” to read as I drift off to sleep. Thank you Hope.

  8. I loved reading this Hope. Had this thought go through my heart. You are also describing what it is like to be in a dysfunctional heterosexual relationship too. I appreciate knowing you. You are awesome!

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