A Letter to Young Lesbians
Dear, Young Lesbian Couple,
I ran into you today several times at Target not intentionally but our paths just kept crossing. With each encounter my heart filled with sadness almost to the point of tears. I am writing to you as one who has walked your path you are embarking on for several decades. I am a person who fought for freedom to be out and proud. I know you hear messages every day that affirm you to embrace your true self and love the one your with. I promoted those messages for well over 20 years to people just like you. Would you take the time to read some thoughts I had after seeing you today.
What struck me today was how your presence seemed to protrude a deep need for acceptance. Your intense affection for each other appeared to say that the other was the only reason to live and breathe. I had the opportunity to catch a brief glimpse in each of your eyes; I saw confusion, a lack of confidence and acceptance about your own bodies and gender. This seemed to propel you to grasp and hold each other even tighter.
My young friends, I have been there and lived in that state the majority of my life. Over the course of life, my partners were my “everything.” They became my reason for existence and I lost who I was in them and for them. I was willing to do whatever was necessary to gain their acceptance and approval. This most often meant stifling my dreams and purpose and even desires.
As an older sister I can tell you this is no way to live. What you think is only natural and love in the end becomes tangled cords that will strangle all you really are. One of you will eventually dominate the other with your needs and desires and out of loyalty or more rightly fear you’ll remain in a dead-end relationship, going nowhere and sucking the life out of you.
Even worse one or both of you will become so frustrated and have so many expectations left unmet by the other that you may begin to engage in hostile arguments. God forbid those fights become violent. I have seen two of my friends come to blows with the loves of their lives and then left for dead. Their souls seared through and through. I pray you never find yourself in this place.
So what is the point of this letter? I wanted to challenge you to consider if this; is really the life you want to lead. Ebbing and flowing out of pain and need. Feeling fulfilled in the moment by “her” and then feeling a lonely desperation that there must be something more even as you lay next to “her”.
In the course of my life I have had two long-term same sex relationships and well over 30 short-term encounters. Ultimately I discovered none of them could fill the void deep within me. I often sold a part of my soul for a brief moment of affirmation and “love”. However at 49 I discovered the “One” and only one who ever could fill my deepest needs and even desires.
No it wasn’t a woman or the woman. Nor was it a man. It was Jesus I engaged in relationship with Him and found Him to be the”One” who filled my hearts longings, healed my brokenness and wounds and gave me a true sense of who I really am.
I hope you will not take the path I took my young friends and waste a good portion of your life accumulating deeper wounds than the ones you so readily displayed today. I hope you will not spend your life moving from one partner to the next hoping and wishing that she will meet your deepest needs; only to walk away more lonely and hurt than before. I hope you will not expend your energies trying to find your self, fighting constantly to defend who you are. Yet when left alone, you wonder who you really are.
My young friends would you consider Jesus, not the Jesus you see hanging in your grandmother’s house or hear from some suit ranting and raving from a platform condemning and judging people to eternal damnation. I am talking about the Jesus of the Bible, He was both God and man come to earth to rescue us from ourselves and restore us to a right relationship with Him and God the Father.
I am praying for you tonight as I finish this letter that you will discover the only “One” who can fulfill your life and put you in touch with your true-self.
I welcome you to join my journey,